Paul’s sexy wife was all Howard could think of. Paul’s hot wife? Paul’s naked wife?
Howard could not figure her out. Was Paul’s wife a cheating wife? Was she going to be his angel wife lover? Paul’s sexy wife dominated Howard’s thoughts. She was certainly a lot sexier than Howard’s ex wife.
Howard considered suggesting wife swapping to Paul. Wife swapping? You have to have a wife to begin with. Howard only had an ex wife. No wife for a decent wife swap, imagine. Wife sharing was another matter – a conventional, everyday matter. Wife sharing! What an idea. Howard was going to make Paul an offer to do some wife sharing. Paul? What do you say we share your sexy wife? Nah. Paul would never go for it. He had met his wife in Brazil and brought her over only a year ago. Met his hot wife in Rio, imagine. Those Brazilian girls are something. Ten years from now? You never know. But not right now.
Howard stared at Paul’s wife pic. She was one hot chick, no doubt about that. She was not a mature wife yet, not the sorry type that parades in baggy pants in front of the whole world, rolling a stroller in front of her, gossiping on the cell phone. No. She was like the time traveler wife he had once seen in a movie – out of this world. He tried plying her with some casual conversation. Paul caught him in the act and said something one would expect Paul to say in such cases. Don’t screw with my wife. With my beautiful wife. With my innocent, open wife.
Howard pictured Paul’s wife in bikini. Quite a sight. What a naughty wife Paul had! Even though she was Brazilian, and Tiger Woods’ wife was Swedish (wasn’t she), there was a resemblance between Paul’s sexy wife and Tiger Woods’ sexy wife, Howard thought. Paul’s wife was a world wide wife. She wore special clothes, expensive numbers, showing a lot of leg. Showing a lot of wife leg. Paul’s wife leg. Paul did not deserve her. One windy day Howard glimpsed Paul’s wife’s pantie. Just a bit of wife pantie showing.
She could barely speak English and did not have any friends yet. She must be a very lonely wife indeed. Or so Howard thought. Lonely wife. Imagine. Paul’s wife – lonely.
She wasn’t particularly bright. One day at work, Paul offered his coworkers to guess whether she was superintelligent or dumb. Rate my wife, he said. Imagine. “Rate my wife.” What a jerk. No respect.
Maybe I should get a Russian wife, Howard thought. Getting a Russian wife is easy. You just pay a lot of money. There are many girls in Russia, and a lot of them want to be your Russian wife. If I had a Russian wife, Howard thought, I could do some serious wife swapping with Paul. A Russian wife is always beautiful. A total reality wife, a dream wife, parading in sexy Russian wife lingerie. He once saw this in a movie. It was some kind of crazy, stupid, platitudinous wife movie – a movie that only a stupid (if sexy) wife could have enjoyed, but the frame stuck in his mind – a sexy Russian wife I lingerie. It would be nice to be able to take Paul’s wife to the beach. Imagine going to the beach with Paul’s naked wife. It would have to be a nude beach. Paul’s wife in the nude. Paul’s swinger wife in the nude. Ah, vanity! Ah, ignominy! Paul’s interracial wife was all Howard could think of.
It would be nice to get Paul’s sexy wife drunk. A drunk wife might be more of an open wife … open-minded wife, that is, than a sober wife, English or no English. Howard once read in some stupid book that an Asian wife was likely to be more responsive to the wife-share concept than any other kind of sexy wife. Howard did not want an Asian house wife, he wanted Paul’s hot wife from Rio. He wanted Paul’s naughty house wife.
Stare at that wife photo again. Go ahead. I dare you.
A shared wife, a hot wife from Rio – Paul’s wife.
Two years later, Paul’s wife got pregnant. She did not lose even an ounce of her charm … sex appeal … whatever. She was Paul’s sexy wife all the same. Paul’s pregnant sexy wife. Paul was Howard’s friend, and all Howard could think of was Paul’s pregnant wife. “Don’t screw with my sexy wife” – that came after Howard made another attempt to strike up a risqué conversation with Paul’s sexy wife. Paul didn’t like it. Paul’s sexy wife could now speak some English and understood humor and flirting. “Don’t screw with my sexy wife” – what a jerk. With at least two feet of that sexy wife stocking showing, she strutted in front of Howard, smiling her Brazilian smile. No desperate house wife, oh no, not she. Paul and Paul’s sexy wife. Husband and wife.
He saw her again, when she was about eight months pregnant. She had a huge shiner, and she looked desperate. Paul’s desperate wife. He asked her what the hell happened, and she told him – you guessed it – an old wife tail about falling down the stairs. Was Paul a wife beater? His buddy Paul? What’s this world coming to, folks? Come on, Paul’s wife! Give Howard some material for a good cheating wife story. Paul’s dirty wife, Paul’s hot wife, give me a wife story, Howard thought.
He now has an Asian wife and a Russian ex wife. Paul’s sexy wife has three kids. They had dinner together the other night.